“A Few Centuries of Nasty”
For the first time in the history of the United States, a woman of color has been nominated to run for Vice-President.
The first thing the boys said about Kamala Harris was that she couldn’t do it because she wasn’t qualified enough to be in charge. Then the boys called her nasty. And then the boys compared her to Marge Simpson.
Where in the world did the boys get the idea that they could denigrate women like that? Nursery Rhymes.
There was an old woman
Who lived in a shoe
She had so many children…
Hold on. She lived in a shoe? How poor was this woman that she had to live in a shoe? And how small? But she had a lot of children – which means there had to be a small man. So where was he? Or was there more than one father? And since a shoe is a sign or fertility, what type of woman are we implying lives in a discarded Nike with a bunch of kids? The story says she didn’t know what to do – so she’s not that smart. The next thing the story says is that she whipped all her kids and sent them to bed without any dinner. And that’s the end of the story. Message to boy: watch out for ignorant, abusive, poverty-stricken whores.
In many of these rhymes, women are portrayed as mean – or “nasty” – in today’s parlance.
Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard...
Okay, this woman goes to get her dog a bone, but when she got there, the cupboard was bare, and so the poor doggie had none.
And that’s where that story ends.
Because she doesn’t go buy him a can of dog food.
No, she just shrugs and says, “Hey the cupboard’s bare, so guess what? You starve to death.” And that’s it. Another nasty woman. But the lesson sent to the boy in this rhyme also has a subtler message: women don’t care about dogs, which we all know are “man’s best friend”.
Young women are also not portrayed favorably in these rhymes.
Little Bo Peep
Lost her sheep...
Hold on. “Bo” Peep? The sheep herder is someone named “Bo”? As in Bo Jackson? Or Bo Schembechler? Because “Bo” is definitely a guy’s name. And almost all shepherds are men. So why – in this one case – does this rhyme portray “Bo” as a woman who lost her sheep?
Is it because she LOST the goddam sheep!?
Women get the blame for everything in these rhymes. The next line says that she didn’t know where to find the sheep. That’s the meaning of “lost”, isn’t it? Kind’ve hammering the point home here. Adding insult to injury just because she’s a woman. Then the rhyme implies that the sheep might come home anyway – we will just have to wait to see if the problem solves itself – because obviously a woman can’t do it. So the story ends with everyone wondering what will happen because an ineffectual female leader – who repeatedly loses control of everything she’s put in charge of – can’t quite deliver. It’s like an episode of VEEP.
Then there’s Little Miss Muffet
Who sat on a tuffet...
Hold on – what’s a tuffet? The actual definition is that it is “a clump of something”. Like a grassy mound or a grassy knoll – like the one where the second shooter stood in the Kennedy assassination. So basically a tuffet is anywhere you can be where a spider can sit beside you. So what’s the lesson here? Don’t picnic on a grassy knoll? Or just don’t drive past one in an open convertible in Dallas?
Anyway – Muffet is eating her curds and whey – defined as two kinds of curdled milk protein. Lumps and liquids. Tastes as good as it sounds.
And then the spider scared her away. Reinforcing the idea that all little girls are scared of bugs. And that little girls are vulnerable. And that they lose self-control if you startle them. Lessons learned. Thank you very much.
But, frankly, I don’t think the spider scared Muffet away. I think it was the curds and whey.
Even if the woman in the story is an ancillary character, her actions are nasty.
Three blind mice
See how they run...
Hold on. SEE how they RUN?! They run like BLIND MICE! Are we making fun of disabled mice here? And how do three mice go blind at the same time? Was it pesticides? Poison? And why do they run around together? But before we can even ask these questions, a farmer’s wife cuts off their tails with a carving knife! Now the mice have TWO disabilities! And, believe it or not, THAT’S how the story ends! She just leaves them blind and bleeding. And we wonder why some kids torture kittens.
This suggests that any woman – even a farmer’s wife (of course she is defined as a possession of a man) – is dangerous and ruthless if given a weapon or tool. And, even worse, women don’t even know which weapon to use! A CARVING knife? Aren’t we talking BUTCHER knife here? You just can’t trust women. They’ll cut off your “tail” and leave you bleeding.
Like many stories for children, Nursery Rhymes pretty much tell us all we need to know about the behavior of women. Now if you still think that these very old rhymes have very little effect in todays world – just remember that these rhymes have been listened to for hundreds of years by countless generations. They’ve had more airplay than all the commercials on TV put together. And, just like TV commercials, they are MEANT to instruct us. They are supposed to tell us how to behave, how to feel, and what to think.
And these rhymes have been read to boys for centuries. But not to girls. Girls can read them all by themselves.
And if you don’t believe me, just ask Marge Simpson. ”
Rick Doehring
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