“Modern and Very Grimm Fairy Tales”
The Bear and the Nightingale
An angry Russian Bear comes out of his forest. He bites a Ukrainian Nightingale and locks it in his jaws. The Bear won’t let go. The only way to stop the Bear is to put a bullet between his eyes. Even then it will take a long time for him to die and let go of the Nightingale.
The Once Blue Sky
All the water and wind in the world are held up in the blue of the sky. The blue bulges like a swollen balloon it is so full. A Dragon slashes it open, unleashing floods and tornadoes, and the heat from his breath burns everything in its path. If everyone had worked together, they could have killed the Dragon. But they did not. And now it is too late. The Dragon cannot be stopped.
The Lone Wolf
Little Red Riding Hood is so happy because she has a basket of goodies for her Grandma. She knocks on the door of the first cottage in the lane and when her Grandma opens the door, they laugh and sing. As they take things out of the basket, a Lone Wolf comes into the house with an automatic rifle and shoots Grandma. Then he shoots Little Red Riding Hood. Then he goes to the next cottage and shoots the Seven Dwarfs. Then he shoots Snow White. Then he goes to the next cottage.
The Big Bad Wolf
Three Pigs build their respective homes out of straw, wood, and bricks. The Big Bad Wolf blows them all down. The Pigs have nowhere to live. They have no insurance. The government doesn’t help them fast enough. Eventually the Big Bad Wolf eats them.
The Giant Web
A giant Spider spins a giant web all around the world. The Spider watches as you get stuck on his web forever. Even after you die.
Nine People in a Room
Six Unwise People and Three Wise People sit in a room. The Six Unwise People decide what everyone outside the room can do with their bodies. The Three Wise People go on a pilgrimage to a manger where they find dead cows, dead lambs, a dead donkey, and no baby.
The Very Little Bug
A Very Little Bug crawls inside a nostril and reproduces. The nostril becomes sick. Soon Very Little Bugs are in all kinds of nostrils. No one thinks to cover the nostrils. The Very Little Bugs go everywhere.
Rick Doehring
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